July 25, 2008

time flies

Wow! Its been a while since Ive posted. Here are the updates.

In May we tried everything au natural....didnt work. We started clomid (the devil drug) in June. All it did was make me insane. Even through I did ovulate, the clomid made "hostile mucus". Now for July we are on clomid again. Woo hoo. We are doing IUI (intrauterine insemination) this month.

I stress over this. When I did the HSG the catheter they used hurt SO much. I am worried this will hurt a lot also. Im doing it, I promised R I would. I also have to do daily blood draws starting on Sunday morning. So needles, catheters, sterile environments. If this does work, its not the best story to tell your kid when they ask "where did i come from"?

Here is how that conversation might go....

child: where did i come from?
mom: well, we really wanted you, but you took forever to show up. eventually mommy and daddy let doctors take gallons of their blood until they finally figured out that we needed help. mommy had to take medicine that caused her to go temporarily insane and alienate her friends and family because she was psychotic. after that mommy had to go to the doctor every morning before the sun came up to have more blood taken.
dad: after the doctor said it was time, daddy had to put his "contribution" into a cup and then mommy and daddy drove downtown. the doctor then took daddy's cup and cleaned it up and then he put a tube into mommy. he put daddy into that tube and it went into mommy and then we waited (while mommy peed on everything she could find) 2 weeks and found out you were there.
child: so is the doctor my daddy?

ok, so im sarcastic and slightly bitter today.

im so damn sick of people telling me to "relax" and it will happen. that could be the case for a lot of people, but obviously "relaxing" doesnt have anything to do with getting pregnant. if that were the case there would only be pre-natal yoga classes. i am not stressed out over this. i am finally at peace with the whole thing. its everyone and their stupid, insensitive advice that pisses me off. that is when i get stressed out. me exploring options does not make it impossible for us to get pregnant because i am seeking medical interventions.

what if someone told a person with cancer to relax and it would go away. um, no...

ok, rant over for today. maybe....